Phantom's Little Girl
by luverofsong
Summary: What would have happened if Erik had married Christine and they had children? More specifically, a daughter. How would he react to her courting? Chaos, silliness, and 'disaster beyond your imagination'occurs. Just a warning, this story is very much a
1. Chapter 1

**Phantom's Little Girl**

**Author's Note: Well, people, the last story I wrote was more of a drama with some comedic moments. This one is very much a comedy/parody. I am not only a Labyrinth fan, but a Phantom phan. I have been pondering this idea for a while, wondering if I dare write such a ridiculous story. I love the Phantom of the Opera, ****so don't think I am trying to insult the story. I thought I could lighten the mood by putting some ridiculous situations in it. This will be a very short story, no more than the length of two or three chapters. So, without further ado.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Phantom of the Opera or it's characters. ****Danielle, Derek, and Joseph (not Buquet) are mine. Mwahaha!**

"Why have you brought me here, Danielle?"

Danielle looked up into her beau's eyes as he caressed the palms of her hands. His dazzling blue eyes searched hers. What he saw caused chills up his spine. Whether it was from an unknown fear or just the pleasure of being close to her, he was unsure.

"Danielle, will you not answer me?"

"Of course, I was just waiting for her to finish narrating."

"Oh."

"Derek, I know it is improper for a man to be in a lady's quarters, but I feel it is the only way we can avoid him."

"Danielle, you are positively shaking, are you that afraid of him?"

Danielle looked at him, bemused, as she tried to pry his shaking hands from her shoulders. His lip quivered as she took a step back from him.

"Well, my dearest, at least you have stopped shaking." Derek made an attempt to sit down, after missing several times, he finally bested the chair. He leaned against it, smiling nervously.

Danielle, approached him, passing a black and white mask that hung on her wall. She stared at it as she sat at Derek's feet. "The man is everywhere, Derek. I can't escape from him, I never will." She reached her hand up and caressed his face.

"Well, darling, he is your Father. He can't be all that bad, can he?" Derek tried and failed to sound convincing, he had heard the stories about him. He was damn sure the Count did not use rope to play skipping games. His hand went up to his neck, subconsciously rubbing it. His eyes moved to Danielle's, his hand moving from his neck, to replace it on hers. His trembling went from that of fear to pleasure.

Danielle sighed as she felt his warm fingertips on her skin. Her eyes went to the mask on the wall once again. _Oh, damn him, even when I am alone I'm not alone._ Danielle had her **Coming Out Party** over a year before, only because her Mother insisted. Her Father's displeasure over this fact was proven from her lack of suitors.

Not that she hadn't had her gentleman callers. Out of the eight had that had sought permission to court her, only one had managed to reach the sitting room. She remembered how her Father had sat and stared at him the entire time, interrogating him with his eyes. She had sat across from the poor, stuttering boy, glaring daggers at her Father, as he slowly killed the Vicomte with his eyes. Danielle steered the conversation over to music, hoping that would break the ice between the two. Well, that had backfired, when the young Vicomte had said he thought composing was sentimental and a waste of precious time. Everything after that became a blur. The Vicomte had either ran or flown out of the house and her nutty Father had tried to comfort her. "Don't worry about that sniveling, uncreative, pasty faced boy, Danielle. You will always have me and your Mommy."

"Danielle, Danielle, your eye."

Danielle snapped out of the memory and focused on Derek's face.

"What," she asked, trying to drown out the narrator's voice.

"Your eye, Danielle, it's twitching."

Danielle stood up and walked over to her full length mirror. She looked at her face and said, "Oh my God, it is." She turned away from the mirror and started to pace. "It's my Father, he's driving me crazy. I mean, most Fathers think it's cute when a young boy brings his six year old daughter flowers. Well, mine thought he was being forward. Poor Henry."

"Woe, woe, woe. Do you mean Henry Thomas, our old classmate?"

Danielle nodded, twisting a strand of hair that had fallen from her bun.

"The boy who fancied you and after speaking to you only once, developed a habit of running away and screaming every time he heard a piano playing."

Danielle nodded once again. "What is to happen to us, Derek. You are the only eligible man of our class that has not yet approached my Father..."

Derek quietly started making his way toward the door as she ranted. "If you and I cannot succeed I shall die an old maid, and you will just, well, die." Danielle quickly turned around as Derek's hand was turning the door knob.

"Derek!"

Derek jumped as Danielle stalked towards him, her emerald eyes full of, love?

"Oh, Derek," Danielle said, taking his hand and pulling him towards her bed. She sat down pulling him down next to her.

"You were going to look out into the halls to see if Father was coming. Oh, my protector." Danielle pulled his head down to her chest as she stroked his hair, affectionately.

"Uh," she held him closer as he spoke, his head buried in her softness. "Of course my love," he finished, getting dizzy from the scent of her. She pulled away from him and leaned her face toward his. Derek looked at her as she closed her eyes and pouted her lips. _I wonder why Danielle is doing that?_ A light bulb appeared above Derek's head. _Oh._

His hand moved to cup her neck as his lips descended upon hers he, "Wah," Derek fell to the floor as Danielle jumped off the bed. "Oh, it's no use, Derek. My Father's eyes are everywhere. He will not accept our growing love." She looked at him as he stood, rubbing his back.

"But, Darling, I will protect you." He caressed her collarbone as he leaned in to drink from her lips.

"Danielle!"

Derek jumped as he tried to hide behind his Love.

"Joseph," Danielle scolded her little brother, "did I not tell you to knock before you enter my chambers."

The ten year old ignored his sister's lecture, giggling mischievously as he looked at Derek.

"Ooh, wait till Daddy finds out." Joseph eyed Derek and announced, "I get his cufflinks."

"Joseph!" Danielle eyed her brother, giving him her Father's death glare. Joseph gulped as he backed out of the room and closed the door.

"Where were we, my love," Derek cooed. He placed his hand on her neck once again, his lips hovering over hers.

"Danielle!"

"Joseph, I told you to knock."

"Sorry." Joseph backed out of the room and closed the door. **_Tap, tap, tap._**

Danielle sighed, "Come in, Joseph."

Joseph ran in, panting. "Danni, Daddy's coming up the stairs."

"Oh my God, Jo, why didn't you tell me?"

"But, you said," he started to whine.

"Oh, honey never mind. Do me a favor, stall Daddy anyway you can."

"I thought that was for horsies."

"No, just tell him a story, put on a skit, tell him some jokes. I need at least five minutes to help Derek escape."

"Okay, sis."

Joseph ran out as Derek started to hyperventilate.

"Derek, this is no time to practice breathing techniques. We must escape the Phantom's wrath."

She grabbed his hand and pulled him toward her fireplace.

"What are you going to do," he said between gulps, "push me out the chimney."

Danielle pulled the candle holder on the ledge of the fireplace and stepped back. The wall behind the fireplace swung forward, revealing a secret passage.

"No, you are about to witness something few have. My father's lair."

With that, she pulled Derek into the darkness, humming her Father's theme song.


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow, Awesome Lair, Dude!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Phantom of the Opera or Mission Impossible.**

**Author's Note: I have decided to up the rating to T, just to be safe. ****SugarPeaches, FFAMasquerade2005, Woodstock1330, PhantomFan13, a big thanks for the reviews. I am glad you are enjoying the story. PF13- the answers to your questions are: yes and yes. Okay, here we go.**

Erik entered his home quickly. He had just been consulting with his employees about the new structure they were designing. He had just lost half of his staff, not understanding why they couldn't take a little constructive criticism. It's not like they hadn't been called incompetent, pig headed, spineless weasels before.

He shook his head and said aloud, "Go figure." He was about to go pour himself a brandy when he heard a weird noise upstairs. He put down his briefcase and started up the stairs, not noticing his son peering at him from the top. Just as he was about to go up the second flight of steps, Joseph collided with him.

Something flashed in his son's eyes that he didn't quite catch before it disappeared.

"Daddy!" Joseph flung himself at his Father's waist and gave him a bear hug. Erik smiled down at his son.

"Hello, son." He was about to move forward but, Joseph held tightly.

"Joseph, kiddo, let go."

"Well, Father, I just missed you today."

Erik picked up his son and hugged him. He looked into his eyes and said, "Joseph, what are you hiding."

"Daddy, can't a son just miss his Father."

Erik looked at him suspiciously. "So, where is your Mother?" Erik looked up the staircase as his son, not so successfully, tried to distract him.

"Oh, Mother's over at Aunt Meg's having tea."

"And, your sister," the Count asked, raising an eyebrow.

"What sister," Joseph asked, letting out a breath he had been holding.

Erik bent his 6'2" frame down to his son's level and said, "The only one you have, son."

"Oh , right."

Suddenly alarmed, Erik picked up his son, and set him back down as he walked around him. Joseph chased after him.

"Daddy," Joseph ran in front of him, as he said, "I have something really important I need to tell you."

Erik raised his eyebrow as his son yanked on his hand as he pulled him down the stairs. Joseph pulled his father into the den and tried to push him down into his chair. After grunting and pulling Erik finally gave into Joseph and sat down. He looked at his son, waiting for him to finally speak.

Joseph took a deep breath. "Father... a composer and an architect walk into a bar."

* * *

Derek allowed himself to be pulled into a large room, subconsciously humming along with Danielle. She lit an oil lamp and a few candles. 

"Oh my God!" Derek exclaimed. "That organ is amazing. Look at the size of it."

He was about to touch it when Danielle grabbed his arm. "Don't touch! Only Mom is allowed, and even she has to ask permission."

"Aww," Derek pouted.

Danielle looked around the music lair. "All right, Derek. If you promise to be a good boy I will let you play with my drums."

Derek looked at the gorgeous set, of drums.

"Okay," Derek replied, clapping like a little boy.

"But, not now."

Derek once again started to pout.

"Derek, two words. Henry Thomas."

"Danielle, what are we still doing here. We must leave so I can live."

"What?"

"I mean, so we can live, my love."

"Oh, Derek. You are so deep." Danielle felt along the wall for another switch. When she found it, she pulled. A bed popped out from the wall and landed... "Oof!"

"Oops, wrong switch," Danielle concluded. She ran her finger a little further to the right and found another and pulled. Derek stood up, still rubbing his head. The wall moved forward and to the left.

"Oh, oh, there it is. Oh, how exciting Derek. If I remember correctly, this should take us to the kitchen, there is a back door where you can escape."

Derek moaned as a bump formed on his forehead.

"Derek, my love, what happened. Are you all right?"

She caressed his face, examining his head. Just as he was about to answer she said, "I am glad you are well. Come on, we don't have much time." She grabbed his hand as they disappeared into dark passage. The Mission Impossible theme played in the background.

* * *

Erik sat in his chair, half asleep, as his son carried on. 

"So, Father. Why did the magician cross the road?"

"So, he could reappear on the other side," the count replied, stifling a yawn.

"Bingo! Daddy, you are so smart. I hope one day I will be as smart as you."

Erik was about to reply when a the wall to his right sprung forward. A very guilty looking daughter looked out from behind it.

"Oops, wrong room. I will just be on my way, Father don't mind me."

The Count's daughter was about to turn around and go back when her Father roared, "Danielle, come back here. And bring your friend with you."

Danielle came out of the passageway shaking. Attached to her shaking self, was a shaking Vicomte. They stood in front of the Count, waiting for him to speak.

"Daddy," Joseph said, looking at his Father. "I really hope that one day I am not smart like Danni."

**Okay reviewers, I thrive on your comments. Please let me know what you think.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Keep Your Hand at the Level of Your Eyes**

**Disclaimer: Okay, lets go over this one more time. I do not own the rights to Phantom of the opera or Gunsmoke. Um, by the way, who does own Gunsmoke?**

"Joseph, go to your room," the Count growled, leaving no room for argument.

"Yes, Daddy," Joseph replied, meekly. He looked up at his sister and said, "I love you Danni. Vicomte, I love your cufflinks."

Joseph quickly walked out, passing by a very irate Father.

Derek eyed Erik, trying not to shown his intimidation. _Oh my God, the man is huge, does __he have stilts underneath his britches. If he glares at me any harder he will burn a hole through my head_. The Vicomte finally let go of Danielle's arm, she, at the same time stopped shaking.

Danielle looked at the two men, trying to get the theme from Gunsmoke out of her head. Her Father just stood there, letting his eyes do all the talking.

"Danielle, why isn't he saying anything," Derek said under his breath, trying not to move his lips in the process.

"He's just doing that to intimidate you," she replied, smiling up at her father innocently.

"It's working," Derek whispered, twisting his hair.

"Just remember," Danielle said, continuing with their ventriloquist act, "we're on his territory now. So, don't make any sudden movements, he may charge."

"Ah, I see we have more than one ventriloquist in the family," the Count said, cracking his knuckles to emphasize his words.

"Now, Daddy, before you get angry..."

"Darling, what makes you think you're Father's angry," Erik replied, looking at his daughter innocently. "I am happy to see you keeping this insolent boy's company."

Derek, not knowing what insolent meant, started to relax at Erik's congenial tone. But, then pulled a 180 when he saw the Count rummaging in his drawers, desk drawers that is.

Danielle looked on, suddenly grabbing Derek's hand to stroke the back of it. The intent was to soothe, but only made Derek more startled.

Erik found what he was looking for and sat down behind his desk, hiding whatever it was he had underneath it.

"So, what have you two crazy kids been up too?" Erik clenched the object in his hands, dying to use it. Derek, wanting to quench his curiosity, bent down to look under the desk. At the same exact time, Erik's hands moved above the desk. Derek shot up just as Erik's hands went below the desk. After the fourth try, a light bulb went above Derek's head once again.

"Danielle, did you see what your Father was holding," he whispered.

Danielle, humming The Point of No Return while filing her nails, looked up guiltily. "Sorry honey, I didn't notice."

Derek, fighting the impulse to strangle her, finally answered her Father's question. "Well, Danielle was just showing me around your amazing pad, I mean, home." Derek scratched his head, wondering where that God awful slang came from.

"What's slang?" Derek asked.

"Yes, what is slang," the rest of the group asked the voice. Okay, moving right along.

"Well, thank you my boy, I designed and built it myself."

Derek walked toward the Phantom and "Get Out," Derek excitedly pushed Erik over in his chair.

Derek prattled on as Erik stood up, all the while trying to hide his lasso behind him.

"I am fascinated with architecture. In fact, my Father owns Legitimate Structures. Everyone says he's the Davinci of building and design."

Derek turned around to look at Danielle as she pointed behind him, her eyes large and round. The Count slowly stalked behind the Vicomte, lasso in hand.

"Darling please, don't distract me, let me finish," Derek scolded. "Anyway Sir, you are good, but if you wish to excel you must..."

In a fit of blinding rage the Count raised his magical lasso.

"Darling!"

Erik quickly dropped the rope as his wife entered.

"Hello, my dear." The Phantom put an arm around Derek in a convivial manner. "I was just welcoming the boy to the family."

"Mother!" Danielle rushed to the Countess, sobbing into her arms. "Mother, it was so terrible, Daddy was going to. Wait, Father, did you just say you are welcoming Derek to the family?"

"Of course, sweetheart. I can't get enough of David."

"Count, I can't breath," Derek rasped, trying to get out of the _friendly_ headlock Erik had him in.

"Oh, sorry son." The Count unhooked his arm from Derek's neck and moved toward his daughter.

"Danni, I just want you to be happy." Danielle's Father brought his arms around her in a warm hug, as his wife looked on suspiciously.

"Darius seems like a nice, _simple_, boy to me."

"Oh Daddy, thank you. That means so much to me. "Oh Mother," Danni started as she turned to give her a hug. "Isn't Father sweet?"

"Quite," her Mother answered, raising an eyebrow.

"Come Derek, we must make wedding plans." Danielle dragged Derek out of the room.

"**Wedding Plans,**" her new fiancee replied nervously.

"What are you up to Erik," Christine pressed, when they were out of ear shot.

"Nothing Darling, trust me, nothing is going to happen." He hooked his arm around his wife's waist, caressing it.

"Erik, the last time you said that I ended up pregnant."

The Count smiled as he pressed his lips against Christine's neck, trailing his way down to her collarbone.

"Erik," the Countess giggled, "stop." Christine tried to sound forceful and failed.

"Come my love, help me make the music of the night."

He drug her toward the secret passage, both knowing where they were headed.

"Do I get to play with your organ this time," Christine whispered seductively.

"Only if you let me play with your drums," Erik growled.

"Ooh, I love it when you talk instruments."

Erik grinned from ear to ear as he drug his wife to his lair, while two other lovers made plans for the future.

**Six Months Later**

Danielle sauntered over to the bed in black negligee, looking at her groom like he was a rare, sirloin steak smothered in barbecue sauce.

Derek looked at his Bride like, she was a hot chick in a sexy nighty.

Danielle leapt on top of him, only to loose her balance and fall off the bed.

"Ha, how do you like it," Derek howled as he looked down at Danielle. Derek pleased with himself, leaned back and hit his head on the headboard. "Ow, oh," Derek rubbed his head as Danielle got off the floor and smirked.

"Well, I guess now we're even," she said. Danielle got back into bed and held Derek's gaze.

He laughed, "I guess so."

He caressed his wife's shoulder, pulling the strap of her lingerie down in the process.

"You are so beautiful, my love. Now, let's make this bed rock."

"Oh honey, you are so deep."

Derek plundered her mouth, drinking every last drop of her. Their tongues danced to a song as old as time, and then, the music stopped.

"Hey kids!" Erik strolled into the room, carrying a deck of cards, a game of checkers, jacks, and a violin.

"I thought you might get bored on your first night together, so I brought some entertainment."

Erik ignored their stunned expressions as he crawled into the bed, between his daughter and son in law.

"Hi, honey," he said, kissing her cheek. "Hello, Damien."

"Well, since no one spoke up, how about a game of cards."

Derek didn't answer, he just kept mumbling to himself, "All I wanted to do was neck with a pretty girl. All I did was accept an invitation up to her room."

Erik looked at his daughter. "Honey, your eye is twitching."

"What's troubling you, Danni. You know you can tell Daddy anything."

Danielle laughed hysterically, reaching her hand underneath the mattress for something. Erik watched his daughter curiously. Danielle's hand shot up toward her Father, throwing the lasso around his neck. As she tightened the noose Derek glanced over.

"Oh, Danielle, I just had an epiphany." Danielle grunted as Derek continued. " You keep your hand at the level of your eyes to keep from getting strangled. I never understood that before. I think I am getting smarter."

Derek glanced down at the Phantom, her Father,who was now struggling to breath.

"Monsieur, if you don't mind me saying so, you need to get out in the sun more. You're face is so pale it is beginning to look blue."

Erik grunted in response.

"Well, fine, don't take my advise. Oh, by the way, your architecture sucks."

**The End**

**Author's Note: I know, what you are probably thinking. What in the Phantom's Lair just happened? Well, the beauty about this story is that, there is no logic. This was a fun story and I loved writing it. As you probably are aware this story was based more on Andrew Lloyd Webber's Phantom than Leroux's. Though I like his too. Well, I must give a final big thank you to all my faithful reviewers and readers. You are the ones that keep me going. Hasta!**


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